Air temperature: 15 Degrees Time: 7.15am
Pain…change
Pain…change: Uncannily warm at the river- actually like summer! – river feeling like it is starting to hold onto some heat from the sun. Still painfully shallow, even after the heavy rain of last night, the water levels remained really low. Guess that helps with the increase in water temperature, but means that there is less forgiveness in the areas where knees can meet granite rocks – which mine seem to do today.
Pain.
Life in general hurts. Maybe not all the time, but it does. Lucky perhaps are the ones who don’t experience trauma… or emotional turmoil, although perhaps everyone does but some block and stuff it deep inside, where it causes disturbance within the body… cant say you can judge this as when pain hits you just want to escape and get as far away from it as you can and stuffing it, well, I guess on a level you feel it has gone, even if it hasn’t…not really…it is merely there, festering, waiting to rear its head again when you get another emotional trigger.
So…what’s the alternative? How can you escape and release pain…the trauma of a divorce, a break up…grief…loss? Truth is, there aren’t any short cuts. You have to give it the space to be and process the energy through. You cant ‘avoid’ a tidal wave that comes crashing onto the shore…its gonna hit…you cant prevent it…and when it does hit, it can cause havoc and turn your world upside down. You have to survive…use strategies to keep you afloat… and wait for the water levels, the emotions, to subside and come to some level of calm.
Then…you look around and ‘see’ what is left. What you want to rebuild and what you want, after all, to leave be. Perhaps the tidal wave did you a favour? Perhaps there were dynamics within your life you were getting caught up in, that actually weren’t reflective of the core you…not really…and releasing them actually frees you up?
After any thunderstorm has subsided…there is a sense of ‘freshness.’ It is no different with an emotional ‘storm’ Time for reflection…time to take stock…an opportunity for change.
Pain…Change…
They kind of go hand in hand and it takes courage to experience both. Courage can be found within yourself…it can be found when someone metaphorically holds your hand whilst you rediscover your potential…
…And so I swim for an age this morning…enjoying the calm water…silky soft with damsel flies flashing electric blue and green along the bank…
Namaste
Enjoy your journey X