Air Temperature: 11 Degrees Time: 7.30am
Relationships – let go of control
Relationships – let go of control: Torrential rain and stormy skies as headed out this morning. Wet through in under 5 minutes and the forest trail more like a stream than a track… I was aware of thinking how aside from enjoying the exhilaration of the weather, running in the rain has its advantages…one; you don’t see so many people, if any …and two; the trail really doesn’t care that you look like a drowned rat, that you have a hole in your running gear or that you have shrunk your beanie from being out in the rain too much (note to self…new beanie needed) You truly feel like you have a relationship, a connection with a trail, or a dip spot…one that builds up over time as you spend more energy and attention to it…like any relationship. The more you commit and invest…the deeper the connection becomes.
At least that should be the case.
But…how many women feel that this isn’t the case? and rather than feeling that their relationships are growing and evolving, they feel stuck in a rut of ‘going nowhere.’ What is more, the more that they ‘do’ the less fulfilling that relationship appears to become.
Many clients have spoken of just that. Guys that don’t seem to commit. Perhaps the relationship was great at first but then fizzled out. Or perhaps they have a great time with their man when they see him but the relationship just doesn’t appear to move forward to a deeper level of commitment.In addition, the more effort they put into the relationship, doing, organising, being there…the worse the relationship appears to become.
It’s a man/yang world. Sadly women have been brought up and influenced by that world…hence we are prone to over functioning, prone to over doing… It’s time to embrace Yin and be what we are born to be. Yin energy…the divine feminine principle is receptive. Yin feels and trusts the inner guidance system of intuition and feeling. Yin does not fear the expression of feeling, for through that expression she is open to receiving from Yang/Man what he gives and does… and boy will he want to when a woman truly embraces her Yin…when she is open and authentic…connected to her core self.
It comes down to letting go of the yang, of the need to control, to ‘prove’ that you are a good catch and to stop ‘over functioning’ in the relationship. Its time to stop turning yourself into a knot in a vain attempt to be the person that you think your guy wants you to be…
Just stop.
And relearn to let go, flow with feeling and truly be yourself… For, when you are confident and in the flow of your authentic self, your inner radiance shines out…Yin flows and it attracts the male counterpart of Yang. It can’t not…this isn’t a mystical whim, it is a universal principle of how energy flows.
So… if you feel dissatisfied within your relationship. Ask yourself firstly what are you afraid of? Are you afraid of rejection, of the relationship ending if you back off from trying to control it and seemingly let things go? It may well feel counter intuitive…to let go of control to receive more… but never the less it is true.
Let go and feel…and express these feelings in a way that casts no blame or shame. No projection of it being another persons fault. These are your feelings, own your feelings and express them… ‘I feel…’ ‘I am feeling…’ and leave the space open to receive what comes back…
Practice expressing your feelings…. Be curious…And observe how dynamics change around you.
No blaming, no shame, no accusations…just expression of feelings…expressions of being Yin…
Spend time expressing who you are truly on the inside…and allow the flow to change dynamics on the outside,within your experience of life…
So… see where the trail leads…today mine led to the sea and an ice dip with a shoal of fish leaping…yes cold…but with the clouds moody and expressive overhead I was reminded of the saying…
‘Some people walk in the rain…
Others just get wet…’
Which are you? Do you show up as yourself in any given situation…and feel confident to be and express yourself no matter what? Or do you feel that you have to hide and distort who you are and feel at the mercy of external factors around you?
Relationships from your inner self are everything, whether that be with another human being, with nature, or, with life itself…
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain… connect to your core and see.
Namaste
Enjoy your journey X